I've had my nose buried in a book, lately, if I'm not working busily working on projects, or in class. So, that makes maybe a solid 30 minutes a day, maybe. I recently finished Book 7 of Harry Potter, and it was a good read. The end could have been better, but who knows what JKR has up her sleeve.. because she wants to write another book, supposively? At any rate, after finishing that, I decided I'd pick up Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. It's okay so far, as I'm less than ten pages in, it's really hard to judge, but already this book has corrupted my mind a bit. By a bit, I mean hugely. Now, this is something that I would run off and rant to Someone immediately about, because it's a big deal. Course, to some it isn't such a deal, but in my little world, this shakes it all. So anyways, I've decided that if, in the next five, or even ten years, I end up having a kid, that's not as much of a bad thing as I had attributed it to. Course this sounds highly sexist of me, but if I do end up having a kid, I'd want it to be a boy?
This comes as no surprise to me, of course, because I'm the only boy of a family of two children, whom my dad had all boys in his family of six boys, and my mom was the only girl in a family of two boys. So already, from that alone, the cards are stacked against, plus, having grown up the only boy with my sister always out of the house, I almost understand what it's like to be the only child.
This all comes about as when I close my eyes, and if I picture myself with a kid at all, it always seems to be a boy. Now this doesn't mean that I don't want a kid if it's a girl, it's quite the opposite. But I don't really know how I'd react to alot of the things girls have to face growing up as my major interaction has been through my mom and my girlfriends and friends through my life. Now I know not all girls are like those I mentioned, but I do fully understand that they can be quite vicious. Now that I mention that, I have to concede that, growing up, I guess the "dominant male gene" was never really switched on for me?
This may explain a bit of my gender disassociation, because I never had the rigorous upbringing of my dad's or of most guys growing up. I'm not into sports. At all. Even spectator's sports bore me to tears these days. I also haven't had it completely instilled into me that guys do not cry in public. I guess the idealism any guy is a waif that if anyone sees a guy crying just wasn't instilled in me. This doesn't mean that I cry over any and everything, and that I'm emotional disaster, but it does mean I do acknowledge the fact that I get more emotional over things than the average guy should.
That said, I've seen my father cry a grand total of once in my time on this earth. But that, was explainable, as he had just lost his father. I feel that has a bigger effect on me, because I hadn't ever seen him at that point in life. Conversely, if you name anyone in my life and more than likely they have seen me cry on at least one occasion.
On that note, it seems my entries are starting to stretch to great lengths, but I feel there's alot that has been on my mind lately. It's a welcome retreat from the 3-5 line average entries that I have been making. Which isn't to say that those aren't important either.. I just had less to vent about ;)